Ego & Shapelessness
You have still a difficulty understanding, ‘shapelessness’. You know it in theory, to lose your shape means to lose your ego. But of course you need an ego to identify your separated self. But at the same time if you can learn to overcome your ego in your shapelessness, that will show you slowly, a little glimmer of your real self.
Sometimes when I’m with people I don’t seem to be talking from a shape.
Yes alright, let me take another example.
You have certain sensitivities and when you are being sensitive, that is when you guard your heart centre. You hide your heart centre in that sensitivity. As you learn to overcome that sensitivity it is showing you your real self. You are seeing who you are.
Yes I am protecting something which is really an illusion.
That is correct.
I am protecting something which I have been sensitive about in the past.
And that is your heart centre closing down.
Definitely yes! I can almost feel it.
And as you close down you are putting a shape on yourself. Can you see that?
Yes I can.
It is your ego.
Is protecting itself. It has an image of being hurt.
Ego comes from doubt
Alright, your ego is coming from your doubt. So when you doubt, your ego grows stronger. And as you doubt yourself that ego retains a stronger shape. Can you see that?
Yes it is not quite the way I expected.
Just a little difference of explaining to you, so it is more than a theory. That is why I am bringing a closer identification.
Yes we would normally interpret it as how we feel in a situation.
It is feeling any doubt in any situation, doubting yourself. It is because you do not know yourself. So doubting yourself brings that ego to the fore. And that shows you a false identity, because it is showing you that part of yourself that you have created, and it is not your true self. Can you see that?
Yes I can.
It will be theory for a while. But as you have little times of feeling doubt or being sensitive, then it may occur to you that this is the shape you are giving to yourself.
So know yourself, lose that doubt and lose that shape